Chairman/CEO and Founder Mr. [Redacted] Whiskers envisioned a company so “everything”™ that it would put the .com in .com.com™ and we did. Unfortunately, existing DNS do not support this naming scheme so we built our own. It’s is how we view our own internet inside our company. We call it the super-secret-intranet® before there was the onion network, there was Compu™Global™Hyper™Mega™Corp’s super-secret-intranet.garlic®. Despite the advancement of secret intranets by Compu™Global™Hyper™Mega™Corp™ you have already contacted us at least four times already today, because are reach is that wide.
Maybe the thought of trying to pet Mr. Whiskers crossed your mind. Compu™Global™Hyper™Mega™Corp corporate is working on productizing the shedding hair which Mr. Whiskers leaves behind in the conference room and his office. Think about petting the most amazing smelling Chanel No. 5 while caressing Hermes cashmere blanket while watching your stock portfolio increase a thousand fold? That is pretty much what it’s like. Not the Christie’s Auction House attempting to fetch $200,000 for a ziplock bag of Elvis’ toenail clipping or Richard Linklater’s Slacker hipster woman trying to sell Madonna’s pap smear. This is quite literally touching Mr. Whiskers.
Regal, responsible, reverence, are just a few sentiments when considering how we manage those that seek an audience with Mr. Whiskers. Despite the conclusion, a significant amount of thought went into this process.
Over the years, those that have come into contact with Mr. Whiskers have benefited greatly, some without good reason, some with derivative efforts. One such example, before there was Bitcoin, Mr. Whiskers invented the zerocoin™, where “one” wasn’t even an option. Janitor Satoshi Nakomoto used the idea Mr. Whiskers formulated and pioneered and reworked it into Bitcoin. We didn’t stop Satoshi, because, as mentioned, Mr. Whiskers owns the Genesis block. You are welcome Satoshi Nakomoto and the world for that matter.
What seemed like an obvious aggregation of brands to heighten a commodity business, Mr. Whiskers had his paws in many other businesses. Either forming them, purring the ideas into the ears of others, The roots of Luxottica Group SpA and LVMH Moët Hennessy are but two small examples.
What was this page about? Oh, yes, you would like to contact Mr. Whiskers. Would you believe how easy it is. Open a text editor on your computer or smartphone, type what you want to say to Mr. Whiskers and close it. No need to upload it, or type it into a text box on a webpage. We are so technically advanced, we already know what you will write, you typing it just confirmed it. You are welcome.
We will answer you if we think you are relevant.® Don’t hold your breath. Tweet, tweet, chomp, meow. @compuTMglobalTM and @mrwhiskersTM
© MMXX C™G™H™M™C™