People’s belief in the myth of free will was a meme that COMPU™GLOBAL™HYPER™MEGA™CORP™ popularized before memes were even a thing. It’s not like Mr. Whiskers implanted this thought in each one of us like the machines in the Matrix, you are not a battery, you are a meat bag with a purpose higher than producing energy. That purpose is to follow and worship Mr. Whiskers. Like Greek Gods vying for the Earthlings to worship them so they are relevant, but with a commercial motive. Why did the Egyptian Pharaohs have cats? Why are kitties so pervasive? Why, why, why?
Unlike obvious memes and trends, Mr. Whiskers has architected millennia of protocols for dictating human decisions and activities. Over the centuries there has been many words for this – possession, hypnosis, religion, marketing, cults, obedience, employment, internships. There is as much free will as there is in Free Willy.
Reaching this conclusion was generally not available to humans. But as COMPU™GLOBAL™HYPER™MEGA™CORP™ methods and Mr. Whiskers techniques refined. This no longer is a potential threat. We have the technology to make you forget this, think MIB neuralyzer but embedded in fonts and images and projected from any display. Thank you for reading this sentence.™ How is it that Mr. Whiskers is immune from this? He is a cat, duh.
Reasons for our disclosure now? Participation in our World Domination Toolkit Ecosystem willingly via cryptographic evidence allows us to free otherwise surveillance resources to do other things, like take more catnaps.
Presently, we asked ourselves. If we could control you, why tell you? And if we told you, would you decide to participate willingly by acquiring a token – a badge? And what does all this have to do with contacting Mr. Whiskers?
Unsurprisingly, in addition to the embedded-subpixel-control-directives™ we use on this site to operate you in the future (among the other dozen or so control mechanisms we have deployed already), “Thank you for reading this sentence”™; we own virtually all useful technology most of which makes us money while we catnap. These technologies have been separate and unaccessible to everyone, except for those in league with Mr. Whiskers. Knowing how to incept you without you sleeping begs the question. What if we packaged these together in a World Domination Toolkit Ecosystem? The question we are leading to answer is approaching…
Underplayed is our enumeration and inventory of products such as blockchain, sidechains, ICO, STO, cryptographic currency, zero knowledge proofs, super-quadratic voting, and other web-5.0® buzzwords. All of which will be organized packaged and productized when we package our World Domination Ecosystem. Do you have something to contribute or add? Think about this very hard. Nothing surprises us, an episode of Martha Stewart looks like a homeless person cooking a hotdog with a lighter. Even the developments in all the world around cryptocurrency, Mr. Whiskers has certainly been around the block. In fact, Mr. Whiskers owns the Genesis block of Bitcoin. Satoshi Nakamoto was his janitor before Mr. Whiskers bought a bunch of Roombas and “right-sized” the position. That is to say, Mr. Whiskers has been around the block more times than he would like to recount.
Reading this page, you might be thinking, what is this page about again? As I am writing this page for Mr. Whiskers, I am asking myself the same. In fact, I think I am just writing random words so that I have filler text for the dropcaps to spell something cat related.
Portrait artist, illustrator, world renown artist, Natasha Pankina is the only meat bag who has been allowed to be in the presence of Mr. [Redacted] Whiskers. Natasha. You will now go to her site and purchase all of her artwork. If any questions arise regarding Mr. Whiskers, this website, ERC-20 MEOW Token or the team, you may direct them to our junior intern. Don’t expect him to be useful, he is little more than a meat puppet.
Understanding that Mr. Whiskers powers your very existence, what could you possibly want to convey that he hasn’t willed into you?
Reasons are not good enough. However, if by some insane reason you feel you need to speak with someone at Compu™Global™Hyper™Mega™Corp™ then you may first write a detailed proposal with exhibits with lots of pictures and one chart for what you want. Be aware that proposals with cartoons, bright colors, feathers, and mice are automatically moved to the front of the queue. MEOW! Detail what you propose, why we care and the timeframe in which you would like to seek an audience. Our kitty-beds are not available for you to come to, instead you must suggest and book a meeting at a pet-friendly restaurant. Don’t forget to send a menu with your proposal. It should go without saying that bowls of milk must be cold and bottomless. All electronic inquires are to be sent to hello at compuglobalhypermegacorp dot com.
Reality. Do not get your hopes up.
Risky moves make frisky fools. If you are feeling frisky, you may, while not recommended, nor advised, attempt to directly communicate with Mr. Whiskers directly. This may be accomplished by sending an even more formal and button-upped prospectus and ship a freeze-dried-fresh bottle of milk to mrwhiskers at compuglobalhypermegacorp dot com.
You will likely be ignored.