We are too big to have a “home” page. Therefore, we have a “Skyscaper” page.
May you be welcome. Our corporation’s Chairman, CEO, and super cute mascot, the adorable, Mr. [Redacted] Whiskers, welcomes you. Here are a few words from him. “Meow, meow, meow, meow” Pure golden wisdom.
Meow, мяу, מיאַו, Miaou, मियांउ, เหมียว, 喵, mjaullin, мяў, Mjau, mňau, miauw, Miau, Μιάου, miáú, mjaw, mňau, maullar, মিউ, miyavlamak, મેઓવ, ニャー, ಮಿಯಾಂವ್, 야옹, മ്യാവു, ညောင်, මියාව්, மியாவ், мияв, میاوں, myau, meo, miyav, miaau, muyawo, Kantha, miaŭ,
Eventually you may be gifted with the capacity to understand these words from Mr. Whiskers, but we will attempt to distill them here. Your journey through the internets of cute kitties was no accident. The internet is filled with fat, sleeping, playful, adorable kitties. Mr. Whiskers is the architect who made the internet that way. The cameras don’t take pictures by themselves, unless they are in automatic mode. The smartphones and computers don’t upload those pictures by themselves. The world was told to do this. This is not unlike the architect in the Matrix. If the architect in the Matrix was also NEO and Mr. Smith. There is no free will, there is only the will of Mr. Whiskers.
Obviously, you are seeking to learn more about the world of Mr. Whiskers and the conglomerate Compu™Global™Hyper™Mega™Corp™ or its product The World Domination Toolkit or ecosystem token, the World Domination MEOW Token or the various subsystems within this ecosystem, or perhaps you are interested in learning about the catsensus protocol Proof of MEOW™? You are welcome, the journey starts here.
What are you waiting for? ETH is not going to send itself? You are welcome.
Oh, are you having fun yet? You should know that when uttering our moniker, you must be shouting the words. It is not permitted to just speak them, and it is forbidden to whisper them. You may be nude while shouting our name, we prefer it. Our style guide dictates that our name be written in all-caps in a specific font, but existing displays do not have the color-depth and pixels to do it justice. Pantone has yet to invent a color we like. In lieu of uttering the corporate moniker, you may “meow”. Here is the audio for you to practice with.
We assume you are here because you have heard of Mr. Whiskers or COMPU™GLOBAL™HYPER™MEGA™CORP™, but did you know that it was the conglomerate above the company that owns the subsidiary that owns the company which through its tentacles owns everything else? That is COMPU™GLOBAL™HYPER™MEGA™CORP™ – we own everything you think is not owned by something or someone else. We don’t like to brag, but it’s true.
We assume this may be a shock. It doesn’t stop there.
Who controls the Illuminati? We do, and we operate them with robots.
We use software to control robots that control the world leaders, who control corporate executives, who control employees, some of which are members of the Illuminati that control every aspect of your world. We use pseudo random number generators to operate judges and lawyers to introduce and maintain the facade that Mr. Whiskers and his alliances are not pervasive. This is how we are able to maintain secrecy for so long. Everyone outside this web is controlled by sub-pixel hypnotic™ data we embed into our online fonts and images. These embedded control-directives™ are activated when it suits us. Thank you for reading this sentence.™ It always suits us.
Welcome you are. You are welcome. We are so powerful, omnipotent, and connected, it was strategic for us to appoint a Chairman and CEO who was both ruthless and unsuspectingly cute, adorable, in fact, pervasively adorable. It was strategic to present an air of possible approachability.
We are not approachable.